The Flying Buttress: What Inquisitors' Minds Want to Know

An archive for issues of The Flying Buttress newswire, whose purpose is to comment satirically on dissent within and relating to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Disclaimer: These publications are works of satirical fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, but it all depends on what you mean by the word "is." May the Lord bless you and keep you!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

An Open Letter to Coadjutor Archbishop Dennis M. Schnurr

Your Excellency, On behalf of the long-suffering faithful of the Cincinnati Archdiocese, we warmly welcome you. You are probably familiar with this newsletter from your former post in Duluth, so it may surprise you that this issue is not only directed to you personally, but is also a straightforward greeting and not a satirical one. Though you surely by now have been briefed on the state of the Archdiocese, we are guessing that you have not been briefed on why this newsletter exists. If you are somewhat disconcerted by our stagnant revenue, the shortage of priests, parish closings, and the ill will generated by the sex abuse scandals, we are hoping and praying that you are much more profoundly disturbed by other, much darker problems - which, it could be said, are the real causes of the more superficial problems with which you are now familiar. For example: Your New Archdiocese is Hostile to Tradition. (Note: by "Archdiocese" we mean its leadership, so-called, not its faithful) Your newspaper, The Catholic Telegraph, is a reliable indicator of this. Its Editor, Tricia Hempel, wrote a column a few years ago dismissing the desire for the old Mass as a mere nostalgia, equivalent to a sentimental wistfulness for old pop tunes and old TV shows. The Telegraph also did its level best to discourage local Catholics from going to see Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, on the grounds that it was terribly offensive. Fr. Timothy Daly, a syndicated enemy of tradition, has regular column space.
  • Given this hostility, Summorum Pontificum has not been implemented in any parish, despite interest in several parishes among both priests and laity. Those priests understand where the hostility comes from (by contrast, there are already two parishes in the much smaller diocese of Covington, across the river, which have instituted the "Extraordinary Form.")
  • In other words, the marginalized status of the two former "indult" parishes effectively remains the same as it was before Summorum.
  • A few years ago, your soon-to-be predecessor rejected an offer from the FSSP, which is locally based in southern Indiana, to help with the priest shortage here. Priest shortage? What priest shortage? (An FSSP priest now says the "EF" at both former indult parishes - that is the extent of their involvement.)
Your New Archdiocese is a Nest of Dissent. Much of it comes from the Theology and other faculties of Xavier University - and those whom they have "educated" - who are in the forefront of those who think that the Church was re-invented and "liberated" by Vatican II. So, rather than fidelity to the Holy Father and to the Magisterium, we have "dialogue" and "nuancing." Rather than solumn liturgy, we have experimentation and novelty and desacralization. Rather than social justice grounded in Faith, we have faith drained away by left-wing social activism. Disgraceful garbage such as "Constantine's Sword" and the alleged anti-Semitism in the New Testament are taken seriously among this "elite," which includes Arthur Dewey, who is associated with the Jesus Seminar, and until recently included Paul Knitter, a fellow traveler of Dewey's and a founding member of that Seminar.
  • The liberal and desacralized approach of Xavier is either featured or echoed regularly in The Catholic Telegraph, which is known to many of the faithful here, generously, as the "Occasionally Catholic Telegraph."
  • The University of Dayton is not exactly a fortress of fidelity either.
Your New Archdiocese is a Nest of Homosexual Advocacy (and, by inference...). Your soon-to-be predecessor and his former auxiliary, Carl Moeddel, were for years heavily involved in assisting groups like "Dignity," GLSEN and NACDLGM in their assault against the Church's teaching on homosexuality. Moeddel is on record numerous times as misrepresenting, distorting and outright falsifying Church teaching in the name of "compassion."
  • Moeddel's efforts culminated in the formation of a "support group" for gay and lesbian high school students known as "CRYSM" - Catholics Respecting Youth in Sexual Minorities - which by its very nature gave credence to the lie that making homosexuality an objectively disordered sin is an act of hate, discrimination and bigotry that must be combated. CRYSM has now been disbanded due in large part to the efforts of outraged parents, but the filthy mind-set that created CRYSM still skulks below the surface.
  • The faculties of both St. Xavier High School and Xavier University are both infested with those who support Moeddel's position. Hint: both of these institutions are Jesuit.
  • If you've read "Good-Bye, Good Men," then you know that our Seminary was formerly notorious for its homosexual subculture. This appears to have been largely cleaned up, and the Seminary faculty is now blessed with a few wonderful and holy priests. But there are other focal points for this subculture, such as:
  1. A parish in Clifton (the University of Cincinnati's neighborhood), St. Monica-St. George, is well-known as a "gay-friendly" parish.
  2. We suggest you look into those involved in promoting the observance of the "National Day of Silence" at St. X High School.
Your Parishes are Largely Controlled by Liberals. You will find that the parish staff - Pastoral Associates, DRE's, youth ministers, deacons - of most Cincinnati parishes are quite liberal, even militantly so, and typically feminists, for whom the term "inclusive language" is a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. In this they reflect and complement the secularized arrogance, dishonesty and mediocrity of the rest of the self-styled "intelligentsia" of this Archdiocese: the diocesan bureaucrats, the editorial staff of the Telegraph, and the university faculties.
  • Needless to say, the apples of liberal catechesis do not fall far from the liberal tree.
We have sketched for you the root causes of Cincinnati's decline, causes which could be stated even more succintly: the Faith has been abandoned. Not only abandoned, but scorned in favor of an entirely different religion - politically correct and academically prestigious, but most assuredly not Catholic. Finally, we urge you not to take our word for any of these things, but to investigate them for yourself. In the meantime, our hopes and prayers are with you.
Sincerely Yours in Christ, "Tomas de Torquemada"


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