The Flying Buttress: What Inquisitors' Minds Want to Know

An archive for issues of The Flying Buttress newswire, whose purpose is to comment satirically on dissent within and relating to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Disclaimer: These publications are works of satirical fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, but it all depends on what you mean by the word "is." May the Lord bless you and keep you!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

A New Encyclical

+Choosing St. Valentine’s Day to mark the auspicious occasion, the five Extraordinary Presiders of the RHCCIA have issued their first encyclical, Extra Ecclesiam nulla liberatio, which translates into the vernacular as “Outside the Church there is no liberation.”

(Flying Buttress readers might find it odd that this schismatic homosexual federation would furnish their work with a Latin title, given their foundations in populist revolution, individualism and self-expression. However, as the EP’s explained in their press release, this was an attempt to demonstrate a legitimate alternative to those who might be tempted to think of Rome as the only seat of Latin Catholicism.)

+In an attempt to exhibit legitimacy of a different sort, the RHCCIA has also announced that its Extraordinary proclamations will not be called “encyclicals.” Instead, as a display of environmental sensitivity and solidarity with the earth, they will be promulgated as “recyclicals.”

+Here then is an excerpt from the first RHCCIA recyclical, Extra Ecclesiam nulla liberatio:

February 14, 2008

To our Illustrious GLBTQ Presiders, Deacons, Eucharistic Ministers, Pastoral Associates, and all parish staff enjoying full, conscious and active communion with the Extraordinary Presiders.

Sincere, faithful and committed Sisters and Brothers, and everyone in-between, Greetings and Universal Approbation!

1. It is with great joy and exhilaration that We address Ourselves to you, our new Church, indeed to the entire world, for the very first time. We stand together on the threshold of a great new revelation, a brave new world. We support you, We affirm the holiness of your sexuality, and We call you together to this Great Crusade for equality and civil rights.

2. Yet Our joy is tempered with sadness, for We are troubled by the lack of unity in this vast movement to re-fashion and transform the very foundations of Western Civilization. The Holy Spirit has called us to follow our intuitive and sensate hearts, yet too many do so in isolation, or grope in dark alleys, or embark on fruitless paths. For this reason, We issue today a universal call to gather within and to follow Our new Church on the ecumenical path to liberation, for it is only within the RHCCIA that the true Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit of Vatican II, which is the spirit of salvation through liberation, subsists.

3. Now, it may readily be seen that each of us, through sanctifying grace, has the natural law of liberation written upon our hearts and on our souls. But it is our Church, by the power of the Holy Spirit of Vatican II, which alone gives supple and discernible form and order to the supernatural theological virtues which emanate from this sanctifying grace. It is this very order which equips the RHCCIA with the most efficacious means of offering salvation through liberation.

4. Though, we hasten to add, that those who, through their invincible ignorance and no fault of their own, do not know of or who cannot find the saving graces offered by the RHCCIA, yet who hold fast to the Law of Liberation solely through the power of the Supreme Architect, may also be saved. To put it simply, We’re OK – you’re OK!

5. What then are these theological virtues? The first is liberty. What is liberty? Liberty is the virtue by which we believe that freedom is the application of an absolute natural faculty that allows us to do whatever we please in self-contentment, as long as we do not prevent others from being liberated. Freedom has no limits except those which ensure that the other members of the Church enjoy the same freedom: the freedom of free will, the freedom to choose free will, and the freedom to exercise the intelligence to choose free will which liberates without limit, absolutely.

6. The second theological virtue is equality. What is equality? Equality is the virtue by which each of the faithful is guaranteed the same sexual rights, the same sexual capacity, and the same sexual fulfillment, all operating within the marvelous sphere of diverse orientations that characterize the natural and independent law of man unto himself, freed of artificial social and moral distinctions which breed hatred and strife. Equality is all for one and one for all, each fully endowed with the inalienable rights of one-ness and all-ness.

7. The third theological virtue is fraternity. What is fraternity? Fraternity is the virtue by which all men are inherently brothers – or sisters. For in our Church it can readily be seen that gender matters not, only the humanistic quality of the relationship, the liberation that results from that relationship, and the guiding realization that the oneness of all sexual truth can only be revealed by loving our neighbor as ourselves, so that they are no longer merely neighbors but intimate and mutually supportive pilgrims on the path to liberation, in a truly neighborly sense. And verily may it be said that if one cannot be with the one you love, then one should love the one you’re with...

(Here follows an exegesis of the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit of Vatican II, which concludes with this solemn warning):

...Finally, if anyone denies the doctrine of salvation through liberation, let them develop exanthema!”

Miscellanea CATHOLICA


+If you would like to express your support for the Holy Father, who is being criticized by the International Rabbinical Assembly for his revision of the Good Friday Prayer, send an e-mail before Monday noon to A partial list of signers to the Declaration in his support may be found here.


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